Our mind, noisy, logical, fearful and holding us from living the life of our dreams.

October 11, 2019


The deeper I get into the meditation and energy practice, the more I realize how seriously off I was living my life for over three decades. I guess some call it awakening and some call it questioning. I think it’s both.


My journey into the alternative dimension started with questioning and with this lightning bolt realization that the very life I spent so much efforts building suddenly stopped making sense. I’ve gone through my own hero’s journey of self-torturing questions, frightened mind and a disconnected body.


These days I notice my thoughts and observe all the noise going on in my mind. And here are some of my conclusions:

  • Our mind can not predict the future that’s why all the 5-year and even one-year plans are pointless.

  • Our mind has no clue. It thinks it knows but in reality it bases all assumptions on previous experiences which is the past and will never happen again. And since no one can predict the future, our mind really has no clue about what’s coming which freaks it out even more.

  • Our mind is looking for stability in the reality of constant change. This creates big disappointments for us when we are faced with something going against our “plans”.

  • Our mind is silencing our heart because it just doesn’t want to do the work it will have to do if the heart is heard. This in turn creates misalignment and disconnect with our body. Obviously there is no way we can have intuition or clarity when we are so disconnected.

  • Our mind wants us to live in the past or the future but not the present. As a result we sleep walk all our life only to face regrets on a death bed.

  • Oh and death – our mind refuses to acknowledge this unavoidable part of life and it continues to do all of the above in complete denial.

  • Our mind is strong and very often it makes us think that this precious gift of life is worthless and miserable and that the best solution is to give it away.

And I can keep going.


How did I come up with these observations? After the lightning bolt event, I had no choice but to act because I could not live my life knowing that the only thing that was holding me back was a fear I couldn’t even identify. My change started with yoga practice, then followed by meditation, followed by sound meditation practice, learning about neuroscience and neuroplasticity and confirming all I had experienced by science.


I started traveling solo which at first was a strange experience until I became a pro at it. Eventually my energy level got high enough for me to quit my job without a real plan. That’s how a girl from Russia who became a New Yorker ended up settling in a quaint colorful city in Mexico.


This is not THE END though and just the beginning. Beginning of living a fulfilled life being grateful for every experience and embracing the unknown.


Want to learn more? I believe in sharing. Follow me on Instagram and FB at When.If.Not.Now and feel free to introduce yourself.



This article was first posted on www.Medium.com

Please reload

You Might Also Like:

Meditation as a way to discover your freedom

February 29, 2020

Our mind, noisy, logical, fearful and holding us from living the life of our dreams.

October 11, 2019

Please reload